“Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love.” (John 15:4-5,7,10)
Why do I feel like I am continuously wrestling with the urge to NOT believe that God is really in control of every aspect of my life? It is like this constant attack against my spirit, my ability to trust in Him. I find myself in thought patterns, worrying about how I should handle (blank) so (blank) can happen, or how can I change my plans so I leave open the door for (blank) to occur? WHAT am I thinking? How do I get so far away from my deep-seated belief that God can do ANYTHING. I do nothing without Him. It is not up to me to control the events of my life. He could change my life in an instant if He wanted to. I am not working on this earth for an end to a means. I am not here to fill my own agenda.
I love Oswald Chamber’s little reminder for July 28th (http://www.myutmost.org/07/0728.html). I obey now; I serve now; my purpose is being fulfilled now. (Catching a pattern?) The purposes of my actions should not be rooted in my desire of certain (self-centered) future events to occur. God may have the opposite in mind for what I have for myself, so it is time I RELEASED CONTROL. My way always ends up stinkier than decaying fish chum…long dead and about to be devoured by the world. (*not so relevant fishing analogy*). My love lies in His ways, not the world’s ways. I have to trust Him in the present without getting caught up in my wants for the future. His purposes for me are that I live each day intentionally. Immediately. Each moment is precious.
It is not up to me to manipulate my situations or courses of action. I rely on Him and His word only. He has me at this place to glorify Him in everything that I do. I do what I do because I love Him, not my life on this earth. I don’t look back at mistakes made, and when I look forward, I look heavenward. Heavenward is all about Him, not me.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galations 1:10
“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 3:13-14
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Mi Vida Loco
"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
My title is the name of a Pam Tillis song in which one line goes, "I'll go where the wind blows, you can't tame a wild rose, welcome to my crazy life!" I always chuckle when I hear that song because I can't help but think, "THAT IS ME!"
I pray that the wind is God's direction in my life.
Lately I've been tossing the theme of "adventure" back and forth in my mind. Amidst the craziness of internship and paper-writing for grad school I have already been given some unexpected crazy-fun adventures this summer. If you know me you'd probably say, "so, what's new?" True, it has been my modus operandi my whole life, but for some reason in the last month or so I have been so much more aware of the God-given part of my persona. As my twenties come to a close in the next couple of months, I can't help but realize how many rich experiences I have been through in the last decade of my life. I can see how God has brought me from one excursion to the next, over and over again, drawing me closer to Him all the time.
After sharing some pictures on facebook, a friend recently told me that my life must be filled with adventures, happiness, and blessings. Instantly, I agreed! And then I reflected. Wow. So God, you haven't given me MY plans for my life. I'm sorry for pouting about that at times because I am so thankful for YOUR adventure.
Deep in my heart I have this longing to soar like an eagle and to run and not grow weary. Adventure is at the core of my being and looking back over my life I'm trying to learn who I am in Christ and just why he places these desires on my heart. Because he has assigned us all the Great Commission (GO thereforth and make disciples of all nations...), I think he gives us all a longing for adventure on different levels and in different ways. I know that lately I have been more keenly aware of the sense of adventure he stirs in my soul. He created me this way, and now it is my choice to follow His direction for the adventure of my life.
We each have our own story, and we are living it right now. Each story is different, but each story is our one chance to follow the great adventure He sets before us. How exciting! No wonder I absolutely love stories. And adventures. :)
Thank you God for this crazy life that is filled with unexpected twists and turns! Thank you that my life's adventure is your plan, because it is far more exciting and wonderful than I could have ever planned on my own!
My title is the name of a Pam Tillis song in which one line goes, "I'll go where the wind blows, you can't tame a wild rose, welcome to my crazy life!" I always chuckle when I hear that song because I can't help but think, "THAT IS ME!"
I pray that the wind is God's direction in my life.
Lately I've been tossing the theme of "adventure" back and forth in my mind. Amidst the craziness of internship and paper-writing for grad school I have already been given some unexpected crazy-fun adventures this summer. If you know me you'd probably say, "so, what's new?" True, it has been my modus operandi my whole life, but for some reason in the last month or so I have been so much more aware of the God-given part of my persona. As my twenties come to a close in the next couple of months, I can't help but realize how many rich experiences I have been through in the last decade of my life. I can see how God has brought me from one excursion to the next, over and over again, drawing me closer to Him all the time.
After sharing some pictures on facebook, a friend recently told me that my life must be filled with adventures, happiness, and blessings. Instantly, I agreed! And then I reflected. Wow. So God, you haven't given me MY plans for my life. I'm sorry for pouting about that at times because I am so thankful for YOUR adventure.
Deep in my heart I have this longing to soar like an eagle and to run and not grow weary. Adventure is at the core of my being and looking back over my life I'm trying to learn who I am in Christ and just why he places these desires on my heart. Because he has assigned us all the Great Commission (GO thereforth and make disciples of all nations...), I think he gives us all a longing for adventure on different levels and in different ways. I know that lately I have been more keenly aware of the sense of adventure he stirs in my soul. He created me this way, and now it is my choice to follow His direction for the adventure of my life.
We each have our own story, and we are living it right now. Each story is different, but each story is our one chance to follow the great adventure He sets before us. How exciting! No wonder I absolutely love stories. And adventures. :)
Thank you God for this crazy life that is filled with unexpected twists and turns! Thank you that my life's adventure is your plan, because it is far more exciting and wonderful than I could have ever planned on my own!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Lord, please teach this wiggily child to sit still!
Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 37:7-9
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes."
Psalm 40:1
"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry."
Romans 15:4-5
"For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus."
The common theme of these verses? #1 – Being still. #2 – Having patience. The two actions that I seem to resist the most. Hence, why it has taken me several weeks to get back to my writing. There must be some part of me that inherently just doesn’t want to sit still, though it is probably the very thing I need most at times. Like now. My life is crazy, and I need to rest; God is calling me to rest. But how do I rest when I’ve already filled my calendar with work, work committees, grading papers, going to grad school, writing papers, attending workshops, learning my new job for next year, church, volunteering for church, bible study, cooking group, buying and cooking on a farmer’s market diet (yes, this takes a good chunk of time), exercise (notice how that one is at the bottom, haha). I’m a teacher, so summer break, right? Doesn’t happen! Last summer I crammed in three grad school courses in eight weeks, and this summer I have 160 hours of internship and then a four day-a-week class. These are all good things to do with my time, but could I have made them not so good when I don’t make time to be still with God?
Confession: I LIKE being busy. I’m not a fan of sitting at home with nothing to do. Every once in a while it can be nice, but I get bored easily and want to jump up and stay busy. It is a struggle for me to force myself to just be still and sit in God’s presence. But, when I finally do take those moments, it always results in peace and restoration for my soul. My goal is to remember how vital it is to my relationship with Him, and take more time to just SIT STILL, to listen to Him and to know He is God. I am praying for him to show me what I must do with my schedule to obediently follow His will for time alone with Him. He deserves my time first, and with a heart that is desiring and willing.
Now, one more time…more on the patience part later (I’m working up to that one)!
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 37:7-9
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes."
Psalm 40:1
"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry."
Romans 15:4-5
"For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus."
The common theme of these verses? #1 – Being still. #2 – Having patience. The two actions that I seem to resist the most. Hence, why it has taken me several weeks to get back to my writing. There must be some part of me that inherently just doesn’t want to sit still, though it is probably the very thing I need most at times. Like now. My life is crazy, and I need to rest; God is calling me to rest. But how do I rest when I’ve already filled my calendar with work, work committees, grading papers, going to grad school, writing papers, attending workshops, learning my new job for next year, church, volunteering for church, bible study, cooking group, buying and cooking on a farmer’s market diet (yes, this takes a good chunk of time), exercise (notice how that one is at the bottom, haha). I’m a teacher, so summer break, right? Doesn’t happen! Last summer I crammed in three grad school courses in eight weeks, and this summer I have 160 hours of internship and then a four day-a-week class. These are all good things to do with my time, but could I have made them not so good when I don’t make time to be still with God?
Confession: I LIKE being busy. I’m not a fan of sitting at home with nothing to do. Every once in a while it can be nice, but I get bored easily and want to jump up and stay busy. It is a struggle for me to force myself to just be still and sit in God’s presence. But, when I finally do take those moments, it always results in peace and restoration for my soul. My goal is to remember how vital it is to my relationship with Him, and take more time to just SIT STILL, to listen to Him and to know He is God. I am praying for him to show me what I must do with my schedule to obediently follow His will for time alone with Him. He deserves my time first, and with a heart that is desiring and willing.
Now, one more time…more on the patience part later (I’m working up to that one)!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Feelin' the Love
"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:5-8)
God loves me. I try to let that sink in though I really can't wrap my head around the magnitude of these simple three words.
God loves you! We hear it over and over again, but unless we've given our whole being to the One whose Spirit has been poured out upon us, the phrase reverberates, echoing and empty. Believers know that God has poured His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, but are we consistently connecting the importance of this everyday? What does it mean? How do we love in return? If we could just grasp the concept, our whole world would be turned upside down. If we could just fully understand and feel the tiniest fraction of the enormity of love He feels for us, we would be blown away and changed forever. And really for believers, we already have experienced this at least once when we took that step of faith and decided to accept Christ's love and sacrifice that saved our lives for eternity. In that moment, God gave us His Holy Spirit and poured His love into our hearts.
Someday, we will be in the presence of this love continually. Can you imagine? Those fleeting times when our hearts are overflowing with love and we are completely at peace – these wonderful feelings pale in comparison to how we will feel ALL THE TIME in heaven someday. Reality on earth though is that ever too consistently the hum-drum of daily life takes over, and we may be left feeling dry. "He loves me" may not strike any emotional cord or second thought in the middle of a busy daily routine. Recently, I have made a commitment to Him; that I will let him satisfy every need and desire. I know He loves me deeply and wholly like no other being on earth could ever do. Only He can fill this love need. I realize it, but what about those days I don't FEEL it?
I once had an unbelieving friend say that it seemed like most Christians like to throw out the "God loves you card." This particular friend never bought it or believed that Christians really know God’s love either. When I asked why, the answer wasn't surprising. Today's typical American Christian goes to church on Sunday, sings the right songs, wears the cross in jewelry, sticks the bumper sticker on their car, and then goes about their week handling everyday life stresses, struggles, needs, and wants in the same selfish ways as the rest of the population. Only they do it with a superior attitude because they have the cross necklace, bumper sticker, and oh yeah don't forget, God loves them better attitude because they are a goody-two-shoes Christian. The all too familiar “hypocrite” word strikes again to describe a lukewarm generation of “Christ followers” in a “Christian” nation.
God isn’t satisfied with our getting-a-little-Jesus attitude reserved for Sundays. He desires a daily real, deep, engaging, and love-filled relationship with us. He requires that He be the number one most important relationship in our life, so much so that we need time with Him like we thirst for water. Jesus Himself said:
“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'” John 7:37-38
It is His greatest commandment for us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. (Matthew 22:37-40, Deuteronomy 6:4-5).
How can we receive this deep, abiding God-love if we haven’t done our part in reciprocation of a relationship with Him? Why would we not want to reciprocate when we realize everything He has done for us and how deeply and personally He loves each one of us? I love the way the David Crowder Band reminds us of this love in one of their latest songs, “How He Loves.” I can’t help but want to weep for joy every time I hear it.
How He Loves
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
Oh how He loves me so. Even when I turn my back, He loves me so and calls His wayward daughter back to Him again and again.
God loves me. I try to let that sink in though I really can't wrap my head around the magnitude of these simple three words.
God loves you! We hear it over and over again, but unless we've given our whole being to the One whose Spirit has been poured out upon us, the phrase reverberates, echoing and empty. Believers know that God has poured His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, but are we consistently connecting the importance of this everyday? What does it mean? How do we love in return? If we could just grasp the concept, our whole world would be turned upside down. If we could just fully understand and feel the tiniest fraction of the enormity of love He feels for us, we would be blown away and changed forever. And really for believers, we already have experienced this at least once when we took that step of faith and decided to accept Christ's love and sacrifice that saved our lives for eternity. In that moment, God gave us His Holy Spirit and poured His love into our hearts.
Someday, we will be in the presence of this love continually. Can you imagine? Those fleeting times when our hearts are overflowing with love and we are completely at peace – these wonderful feelings pale in comparison to how we will feel ALL THE TIME in heaven someday. Reality on earth though is that ever too consistently the hum-drum of daily life takes over, and we may be left feeling dry. "He loves me" may not strike any emotional cord or second thought in the middle of a busy daily routine. Recently, I have made a commitment to Him; that I will let him satisfy every need and desire. I know He loves me deeply and wholly like no other being on earth could ever do. Only He can fill this love need. I realize it, but what about those days I don't FEEL it?
I once had an unbelieving friend say that it seemed like most Christians like to throw out the "God loves you card." This particular friend never bought it or believed that Christians really know God’s love either. When I asked why, the answer wasn't surprising. Today's typical American Christian goes to church on Sunday, sings the right songs, wears the cross in jewelry, sticks the bumper sticker on their car, and then goes about their week handling everyday life stresses, struggles, needs, and wants in the same selfish ways as the rest of the population. Only they do it with a superior attitude because they have the cross necklace, bumper sticker, and oh yeah don't forget, God loves them better attitude because they are a goody-two-shoes Christian. The all too familiar “hypocrite” word strikes again to describe a lukewarm generation of “Christ followers” in a “Christian” nation.
God isn’t satisfied with our getting-a-little-Jesus attitude reserved for Sundays. He desires a daily real, deep, engaging, and love-filled relationship with us. He requires that He be the number one most important relationship in our life, so much so that we need time with Him like we thirst for water. Jesus Himself said:
“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'” John 7:37-38
It is His greatest commandment for us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. (Matthew 22:37-40, Deuteronomy 6:4-5).
How can we receive this deep, abiding God-love if we haven’t done our part in reciprocation of a relationship with Him? Why would we not want to reciprocate when we realize everything He has done for us and how deeply and personally He loves each one of us? I love the way the David Crowder Band reminds us of this love in one of their latest songs, “How He Loves.” I can’t help but want to weep for joy every time I hear it.
How He Loves
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
Oh how He loves me so. Even when I turn my back, He loves me so and calls His wayward daughter back to Him again and again.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
I love Him more that white picket fences...
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2 ESV)
In continuing with the last post, I’ve determined that the worldly view of success (to acquire and achieve) is not God’s view of success. My true contentment does not lie in reaching some attainable goal in status or material possession. God given peace and contentment comes from my growth as a spiritual being and from following the example of Christ as the ultimate guide for my life.
For the members of the body: (Note that I don’t say for church attendees, but members of the body, those whose hearts truly love Jesus and want to follow Him.) How do we apply this to our daily lives?
It changes everything.
So many of us grow up being taught to strive for the American dream. Unfortunately, the self-sufficiency that comes with the American dream usually comes at the cost of losing our dependence on Him. We lose our desire to follow His will and instead follow our own will. This leads to disastrous consequences of many forms and fashions. Our ambitions apart from His will in our life are a result our trying to fill an emptiness in any way possible. We try to fill our holes with money, or success, or a relationship, or drugs, or alcohol, or work, or even sometimes our own adherence to religious rules by means of obligation instead of love. I’m not sure who to give credit to the phrase “God-sized hole,” but none of these things, NOTHING, can fill the God sized hole in our hearts but the love of Jesus.
I remember in the first years of college people would often ask me what I plan to do with my life. Of course I would give my ambitious answer of what degree I planned to receive and what successful occupation it would lead me to in the future. To my closest friends though, I would also share the additional details of MY plans. That is, what I really wanted more than anything was a white-picket fence, a husband, and a couple of kids.
My “white-picket fence” dream was referred to and lamented over many times over the years. Looking back now, it is clear to see it was one of the things I was dreaming of to fill the gaping and empty hole in my heart. I know that I did not give mind to God, or His will in my life when it came to thinking of MY future. He already fit neatly in His tight little box which I would only take down occasionally on Sunday mornings or when I needed to ask for something.
So far at this point, over a decade later, God has decided to not bless me with that dream. What He has given me instead is a changed heart and a longing for the eternal instead of the temporal. Praise Jesus! Who knows; He may lead me in the direction of a white picket fence someday. But if it is not His leading, I want nothing of it. Instead of conforming to the pattern of this world, I have the opportunity to be transformed by the likeness of Christ himself.
I have peace knowing I am a daughter of God. His love for me gives me greater joy and contentment than any early desire could ever contain.
Will my desires on earth come true? Yes. IF, by a transformed heart, my will becomes His will.
“Delight yourself in the Lord,
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
Trust in Him and He will act." (Psalm 37:4-5 ESV)
Is there any desire in this world that is above delighting myself in my Father’s love and committing myself to Him?
I truly believe that when we earnestly and genuinely delight in the Lord and commit our ways to Him the desires placed in our hearts shall be equal to His own.
A couple of lines past the above verses at Psalms 37:7 states:
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”
So, even when something is HIS will, we may not receive it when WE want it.
Oh, how the Lord continues to work on me in this area!
More on that “patient” word later…
In continuing with the last post, I’ve determined that the worldly view of success (to acquire and achieve) is not God’s view of success. My true contentment does not lie in reaching some attainable goal in status or material possession. God given peace and contentment comes from my growth as a spiritual being and from following the example of Christ as the ultimate guide for my life.
For the members of the body: (Note that I don’t say for church attendees, but members of the body, those whose hearts truly love Jesus and want to follow Him.) How do we apply this to our daily lives?
It changes everything.
So many of us grow up being taught to strive for the American dream. Unfortunately, the self-sufficiency that comes with the American dream usually comes at the cost of losing our dependence on Him. We lose our desire to follow His will and instead follow our own will. This leads to disastrous consequences of many forms and fashions. Our ambitions apart from His will in our life are a result our trying to fill an emptiness in any way possible. We try to fill our holes with money, or success, or a relationship, or drugs, or alcohol, or work, or even sometimes our own adherence to religious rules by means of obligation instead of love. I’m not sure who to give credit to the phrase “God-sized hole,” but none of these things, NOTHING, can fill the God sized hole in our hearts but the love of Jesus.
I remember in the first years of college people would often ask me what I plan to do with my life. Of course I would give my ambitious answer of what degree I planned to receive and what successful occupation it would lead me to in the future. To my closest friends though, I would also share the additional details of MY plans. That is, what I really wanted more than anything was a white-picket fence, a husband, and a couple of kids.
My “white-picket fence” dream was referred to and lamented over many times over the years. Looking back now, it is clear to see it was one of the things I was dreaming of to fill the gaping and empty hole in my heart. I know that I did not give mind to God, or His will in my life when it came to thinking of MY future. He already fit neatly in His tight little box which I would only take down occasionally on Sunday mornings or when I needed to ask for something.
So far at this point, over a decade later, God has decided to not bless me with that dream. What He has given me instead is a changed heart and a longing for the eternal instead of the temporal. Praise Jesus! Who knows; He may lead me in the direction of a white picket fence someday. But if it is not His leading, I want nothing of it. Instead of conforming to the pattern of this world, I have the opportunity to be transformed by the likeness of Christ himself.
I have peace knowing I am a daughter of God. His love for me gives me greater joy and contentment than any early desire could ever contain.
Will my desires on earth come true? Yes. IF, by a transformed heart, my will becomes His will.
“Delight yourself in the Lord,
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
Trust in Him and He will act." (Psalm 37:4-5 ESV)
Is there any desire in this world that is above delighting myself in my Father’s love and committing myself to Him?
I truly believe that when we earnestly and genuinely delight in the Lord and commit our ways to Him the desires placed in our hearts shall be equal to His own.
A couple of lines past the above verses at Psalms 37:7 states:
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”
So, even when something is HIS will, we may not receive it when WE want it.
Oh, how the Lord continues to work on me in this area!
More on that “patient” word later…
Friday, April 30, 2010
True and Sustainable Contentment
Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. (Phillipians 4:11-13, NLT)
Have I been content with whatever I have and with whatever situation I am in? Sometimes, yes. Admittedly and sadly too often, no.
How do I obtain this deep and sustaining contentment? As with most Americans, I have learned from a world where happiness equals the pursuit of tangible and material successes and possessions. It seems as if everyone is running toward some future goal where they dream to grasp by their own earning what they perceive as their contentment.
If I can just keep going...only five more years until I retire….
Next year I’ll finally be old enough to get my driver’s license, that’s when life really begins….
Our family will finally be complete when I have children…
Once I get to college, I’ll figure it all out there…
Once I find and marry the man God has to me, I won’t feel so lonely…
When I earn my degree…
When I get that job…
When I make X amount of dollars…
When I buy that perfect home…
What if these goals we so desperately want to come to fruition never happen?
What if the largest blessing you could actually receive would be a result of you not getting what you want?
What if growing closer in relationship with your Heavenly Father meant letting His will supersede your own?
God wants our ENTIRE being. Our heart, mind, soul. How can He bless us with our desires when we are putting these worldly yearnings above our desire for Him? I don’t know about you, but I have continually learned this lesson the hard way. I’m a natural go-getter. I know what I want, and I go after it with fervor. I rely on my own abilities to achieve my desires. I could use this quality for good and for the kingdom. But too often I use it selfishly, and without the go-ahead from Him. And guess what happens? Yup. Not much good, and never long-standing peace and contentment.
We suffer from lack of contentment. We are so busy striving for one of the above mentioned scenarios or another version of "the next step" that we forget to feel gratitude and peace for our current life and the abundant love we are receiving RIGHT NOW. Too many of us define our joy (or our deluded idea of joy) by what we have accomplished or gained in our current circumstances.
In light of contentment, Chip Ingram states in a recent blog that the most important question you can ask yourself is not what have you achieved or acquired, but who are you becoming? In his words:
“ Becoming, as God defines it, sparks many more questions: What type of person are you? How is your soul growing? Are you kinder and more patient and more loving? Are your relationships deeper? Are you more deeply connected to God? Are you hearing his voice like never before?”
The times when I could answer "yes" to those last five questions are the times when I have experienced true contentment.
Have I been content with whatever I have and with whatever situation I am in? Sometimes, yes. Admittedly and sadly too often, no.
How do I obtain this deep and sustaining contentment? As with most Americans, I have learned from a world where happiness equals the pursuit of tangible and material successes and possessions. It seems as if everyone is running toward some future goal where they dream to grasp by their own earning what they perceive as their contentment.
If I can just keep going...only five more years until I retire….
Next year I’ll finally be old enough to get my driver’s license, that’s when life really begins….
Our family will finally be complete when I have children…
Once I get to college, I’ll figure it all out there…
Once I find and marry the man God has to me, I won’t feel so lonely…
When I earn my degree…
When I get that job…
When I make X amount of dollars…
When I buy that perfect home…
What if these goals we so desperately want to come to fruition never happen?
What if the largest blessing you could actually receive would be a result of you not getting what you want?
What if growing closer in relationship with your Heavenly Father meant letting His will supersede your own?
God wants our ENTIRE being. Our heart, mind, soul. How can He bless us with our desires when we are putting these worldly yearnings above our desire for Him? I don’t know about you, but I have continually learned this lesson the hard way. I’m a natural go-getter. I know what I want, and I go after it with fervor. I rely on my own abilities to achieve my desires. I could use this quality for good and for the kingdom. But too often I use it selfishly, and without the go-ahead from Him. And guess what happens? Yup. Not much good, and never long-standing peace and contentment.
We suffer from lack of contentment. We are so busy striving for one of the above mentioned scenarios or another version of "the next step" that we forget to feel gratitude and peace for our current life and the abundant love we are receiving RIGHT NOW. Too many of us define our joy (or our deluded idea of joy) by what we have accomplished or gained in our current circumstances.
In light of contentment, Chip Ingram states in a recent blog that the most important question you can ask yourself is not what have you achieved or acquired, but who are you becoming? In his words:
“ Becoming, as God defines it, sparks many more questions: What type of person are you? How is your soul growing? Are you kinder and more patient and more loving? Are your relationships deeper? Are you more deeply connected to God? Are you hearing his voice like never before?”
The times when I could answer "yes" to those last five questions are the times when I have experienced true contentment.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
First post! It is about time...
Ever feel like there is this thing you should be doing…you know, a thing that pops in your head from time to time and taps at your soul, nags the edge of your conscious, and makes you wish you could put down this, that, and the other obligation you must attend to that moment and go after that meaningful thing you really want to do? Instead, it evaporates in the clouds of your brain, and you put it off or think of some future date where you could squeeze this thing into your schedule easier.
I often have several of these evaporating things keeping me unsettled.
In so many ways I wish I could let less of the busy of life in and let more of the all-encompassing love I have for my Savior fill-up and pour-out. This blog is one of those meaningful things I'm not letting drift on anymore.
When trying to come up with a title, I couldn't make it relevant to today, or five years ago, or ten years in the future. I needed to think of something that is true of my whole relationship with Him. His pursuit of me is steadfast. And it is everlasting. I am not grateful of anything in my life more than this. Throughout my days here on planet earth he has pursued me, relentlessly. It is so clear as I look over the span of my life. His pursuit has not been commanding or demanding, but instead a gentle calling. It is the discontentment of my soul when I have strayed. It is the power of His Word, the only words that bring true peace to a weary mind. It is the love that overflows from my heart when I realize how truly, madly, and deeply I am loved by Him. It is the freeing power of being forgiven, my broken and unworthy self suddenly made worthy.
This week I have been meditating on our greatest commandment, to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, and strength (Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:36). Why are there times where it comes so naturally that this is all I want to do, and yet other times it seems the most difficult request ever created? Why am I such a wayward daughter?
He pursues me. Always. He always loves me wholly, completely, unconditionally. I want to give the same back, but how? What is happening during those times I don’t feel like loving Him back?
I have discovered there are evil forces in this world that work against me, stealing my joy. It is my love for the world, my reliance on my temporary home instead of my dedication to my permanent place for eternity that often threatens to turn me away from the truest love of my life. When my love for Him is dimmer, my love for something of the world has been heightened. I want to choose the everlasting reciprocation of love with my Father over the temporary pleasures of this world.
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