"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Joy. Peace. These words are so easily thrown around, especially this time of year. Isn't it somewhat ironic that it is also this time of year that we find the highest reported rates of divorce, depression, and even suicide? We can throw around these words, but how do we grasp them, and how do we share them with a hurting world?
I know I'm often not feeling joy or peace. In the bigger picture: Life hasn't gone the way I planned it or wanted it, and I am often left feeling the sting of bitterness or loneliness. Or even in the smaller, everyday pictures: I just came home from Wal-mart. It is four days before Christmas and I had to struggle through the shopping mobs, wait in long lines, and listen to screaming, undisciplined children. There is no surer way to squash any lingering warm holiday fuzzies. Goodwill to men - bah humbug!
The problem is, I often confuse my steadfast peace and joy truths with my momentary feelings. Joy is not a fleeting moment of happiness I get from finding the right present, and peace is not the bit of calm I get after finally climbing back into my quiet car.
Joy and peace are really the deep and abiding gifts that I was blessed with the moment I chose to make Christ the Lord of my life. I may not always feel them, but they are now with me forever.
And it is my job to share.
No matter what my circumstances or feelings may be. I choose peace and joy--- to hold, to know, and to share.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
Monday, December 20, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Forgiven and Loved
We've been told to forgive others up to seventy-seven times, right? Then why is it so hard for us? Through my small group's study of The Search for Significance by Robert McGee, I am experiencing some revelations about just how crucial forgiveness is for us to walk in abundant life with Christ. Here's the parable that got me thinking today:
Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Um, whoa. If I hold onto unforgiveness, that is some pretty harsh treatment! Why is forgiveness so important? I've read this parable before, but this time, something new struck me. The master cancelled the ENTIRE debt for the servant when all the servant asked for was time to repay it. I forget how tremendous the cost actually was. He gave His life so that I would be forgiven and have new life. But instead of staying focused on this unbelievable gift I don't deserve, I irrationally stay focused on what's in it for me. Isn't that how our relationship with God goes? We throw up these requests to him. Oftentimes they are self-centered, or focused on earthly desires. And what does He do? He gave us and continues to give us so much more than we ever expected to receive. In His will, of course, not our own.
So, after receiving such love, such UNDESERVED love, why is it so hard for us to give the same forgiveness and compassion to those who have wronged us? I see so much hatred and judgement toward others. It is rooted in those things that are apart of living in a temporary, fallen world. It might stem from feelings fostered toward someone with political or belief-system differences who denounces your way of life. Someone could have gossiped about you, betrayed you, lied to you, or showed hatred toward you. But God called you to love your enemies. That is one sure way to shine His love. Who wouldn't notice that kind of love? Forgive and love despite differences, despite wrongdoing, and despite hurt feelings. He calls us to forgive and love as much as we have been forgiven and loved. What a visible way to reflect the image of our Savior.
Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Um, whoa. If I hold onto unforgiveness, that is some pretty harsh treatment! Why is forgiveness so important? I've read this parable before, but this time, something new struck me. The master cancelled the ENTIRE debt for the servant when all the servant asked for was time to repay it. I forget how tremendous the cost actually was. He gave His life so that I would be forgiven and have new life. But instead of staying focused on this unbelievable gift I don't deserve, I irrationally stay focused on what's in it for me. Isn't that how our relationship with God goes? We throw up these requests to him. Oftentimes they are self-centered, or focused on earthly desires. And what does He do? He gave us and continues to give us so much more than we ever expected to receive. In His will, of course, not our own.
So, after receiving such love, such UNDESERVED love, why is it so hard for us to give the same forgiveness and compassion to those who have wronged us? I see so much hatred and judgement toward others. It is rooted in those things that are apart of living in a temporary, fallen world. It might stem from feelings fostered toward someone with political or belief-system differences who denounces your way of life. Someone could have gossiped about you, betrayed you, lied to you, or showed hatred toward you. But God called you to love your enemies. That is one sure way to shine His love. Who wouldn't notice that kind of love? Forgive and love despite differences, despite wrongdoing, and despite hurt feelings. He calls us to forgive and love as much as we have been forgiven and loved. What a visible way to reflect the image of our Savior.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Blessing of Friendship and 30 Dares
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
A little less than two months before my 30th birthday, some of my closest friends put together a list of 30 dares to complete before this dreaded milestone birthday arrives. Since I had only 55 days to complete my mission, I was told I could pick ten to complete in order to succeed at this challenge.
So far I have completed four, but writing this blog will make it five. I have until September 17th to finish five more!
Finished so far:
Dare #1 – I submitted an article to RELEVANT Christian Magazine. I used my ideas from my blog post titled “I Love Him More Than White Picket Fences” to write about the grace of God to not give me what I’ve thought I’ve wanted in my twenties.
Dare #2 – I went to an amusement park, Schlitterbaun Water Park to be exact. I spent the day running around in a swimsuit like a little kid again.
Dare #3 – I went water-skiing for the first time. This is where things got hairy. I ended up spraining my ankle with the worst level of sprain and a torn ligament. So, at this point I am stuck in a hard boot for six more weeks. The ironic part about this is that I am actually being forced to live out my earlier blog about being still. I think it is the hardest thing I have ever done. No exaggeration. I am so used to being on the move that God had to let my ankle be compromised in order that I would spend my week before going back to work immersed in Him. I would like to say I would have anyway, but the truth is, I know I would have found lots of busy work to run after instead and only would have left a little time of stillness in my final days off.
Despite the throbbing pain in my foot, this has been a renewing period of my life. I have finished several books and studies I’ve wanted to get into for a long time. He has shown me truths about areas of my life in which I struggle, and I have a focus on a ministry that he has laid on my heart to pursue as soon as Grad school is finished. Finally, I have an even larger appreciate for my Mom who ran errands, cleaned, and treated me with love despite the fact I have been a cranky bear. :)
A little less than two months before my 30th birthday, some of my closest friends put together a list of 30 dares to complete before this dreaded milestone birthday arrives. Since I had only 55 days to complete my mission, I was told I could pick ten to complete in order to succeed at this challenge.
So far I have completed four, but writing this blog will make it five. I have until September 17th to finish five more!
Finished so far:
Dare #1 – I submitted an article to RELEVANT Christian Magazine. I used my ideas from my blog post titled “I Love Him More Than White Picket Fences” to write about the grace of God to not give me what I’ve thought I’ve wanted in my twenties.
Dare #2 – I went to an amusement park, Schlitterbaun Water Park to be exact. I spent the day running around in a swimsuit like a little kid again.
Dare #3 – I went water-skiing for the first time. This is where things got hairy. I ended up spraining my ankle with the worst level of sprain and a torn ligament. So, at this point I am stuck in a hard boot for six more weeks. The ironic part about this is that I am actually being forced to live out my earlier blog about being still. I think it is the hardest thing I have ever done. No exaggeration. I am so used to being on the move that God had to let my ankle be compromised in order that I would spend my week before going back to work immersed in Him. I would like to say I would have anyway, but the truth is, I know I would have found lots of busy work to run after instead and only would have left a little time of stillness in my final days off.
Despite the throbbing pain in my foot, this has been a renewing period of my life. I have finished several books and studies I’ve wanted to get into for a long time. He has shown me truths about areas of my life in which I struggle, and I have a focus on a ministry that he has laid on my heart to pursue as soon as Grad school is finished. Finally, I have an even larger appreciate for my Mom who ran errands, cleaned, and treated me with love despite the fact I have been a cranky bear. :)
Dare #4 – So this one came from a friend of mine after the accident. I decided it was valid to use in place of another one as half of my dares are thwarted by the injury. I pierced my nose. Not one of those crazy ugly pig piercings. It is just a tiny little diamond on the left side. It has been bad and good. Bad = I've had anxiety caused by worrying about what other people may think of me, and it has been a pain trying to figure out how to hide it with a clear retainer as it is out of dress code at work. Good = It has forced me to practicing knowing who I am in Christ and knowing that anyone who may prejudge my cute little stud needs some lessons on grace and love anyway. I'm learning how to break out of my performance traps! :)
Dare #5 – I’m writing a blog about my experiences and how God is using me and blessing me at this time in my life.
I will write more as I try to finish at least five more in the next month!
What I love about these challenges most is that it has been a testament to how well my friends know me and how much they love me (despite myself). I'm so thankful for friends who understand my longing for adventure and who bless me with making my birthday an exciting event instead of something to dread.
I’m so blessed with friends who love Jesus just as much as I do and who encourage me in my walk as I complete these many adventures in the challenge we call daily life!
The letter I received (in the theme of one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride):
Rachel Frick, We Dare You to 30 Things before You Turn 30
Dearest Rachel,
It is every girl’s dream to grow up to become a princess. For someone special like Rachel Ann, the dream is far bigger---to become a warrior princess!
Unfortunately, for many young girls, that dream gets lost along the way by busy-ness, broken hearts, forgotten dreams and is dismissed as INCONCEIVABLE!
On the dawn of your 30th year, we invite you to dare to dream once again. The possibility of becoming a divine warrior princess may be closer than you think. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.
The attached document will give you list of challenges you must participate in whole-heartedly to achieve full princess-hood.
Time is limited and your fairy Godmother says it is very important for you to become a princess. Therefore, if you can pull off 10 of these challenges before your 30th birthday, you shall be granted full princess-hood. Extra points and splendor will be given to Her Majesty for accomplishing more than the minimum 10.
Time is running out. Get to it my pretty and be sure to ask your good friends to assist you with these challenges. Now along the way, be sure to avoid people in masks. People in masks cannot be trusted.
Rest assured you will not get eaten by the eels at this time.
Hear this now. I will always come for you.
Sincerely,
Westley and your friends
*******DARES******
1. Pub crawl in bridesmaid gear
2. Costume for karaoke, accessories such as Willy Nelson bandana, cowboy hat or wig will do
3. Attend film festival
4. Volunteer at orphanage
5. Learn to cook an exotic ethnic food you have not tried before
6. Write a blog about turning 30 and the goals ahead, write facebook note(s) about your 30 dare challenges and the experiences as they unfold.
7. Turn in a query to christian or literary or teaching magazine about anything of your choosing
8. Apply for a job in another country just because
9. Write a letter to john mayer
10. Attempt surfing, either a lesson or grab a board and jump in
11. Go somewhere for the weekend, tell your mom you are leaving but don't tell her where you are going, pack only one bag, do not make any plans until you get there.
12. Learn how to say a pickup line in french or spanish
13. Do cartwheels on the beach
14. Create something you don't eat or drink..take a painting, sculpture, sewing, jewelry making class
15. Shoot a gun at a gun range or in a country field
16. Play saxophone in downtown Houston on streets and accept dollars for magnificent talent
17. Dress up like a squirrel and do a dance in the nut isle of the grocery store
18. Skydive
19. Parasail
20. Fly in the cockpit of a small airplane
21. Volunteer or work delivering flowers for a day. Maybe a few friends who want to deliver flowers to someone could just call Rachel to pick them up and deliver them
22. Get a new pet that is not a cat
23. Take a leisure learning class
24. Bungee jump
25. Camp in a tent on the river or beach or a very secluded field in the country
26. Volunteer at a nursing home
27. Spend the day at an amusement park or water park
28. Go to a concert for a band you would typically not go to, or know nothing about
29. One adventure of your choice not listed herein
30. One goal of your choice not listed herein
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience
can never go back to its old dimensions."
— Oliver Wendell Holmes: American writer and Professor at Harvard, 1809-1894
Do you accept this challenge?
I will write more as I try to finish at least five more in the next month!
What I love about these challenges most is that it has been a testament to how well my friends know me and how much they love me (despite myself). I'm so thankful for friends who understand my longing for adventure and who bless me with making my birthday an exciting event instead of something to dread.
I’m so blessed with friends who love Jesus just as much as I do and who encourage me in my walk as I complete these many adventures in the challenge we call daily life!
The letter I received (in the theme of one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride):
Rachel Frick, We Dare You to 30 Things before You Turn 30
Dearest Rachel,
It is every girl’s dream to grow up to become a princess. For someone special like Rachel Ann, the dream is far bigger---to become a warrior princess!
Unfortunately, for many young girls, that dream gets lost along the way by busy-ness, broken hearts, forgotten dreams and is dismissed as INCONCEIVABLE!
On the dawn of your 30th year, we invite you to dare to dream once again. The possibility of becoming a divine warrior princess may be closer than you think. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.
The attached document will give you list of challenges you must participate in whole-heartedly to achieve full princess-hood.
Time is limited and your fairy Godmother says it is very important for you to become a princess. Therefore, if you can pull off 10 of these challenges before your 30th birthday, you shall be granted full princess-hood. Extra points and splendor will be given to Her Majesty for accomplishing more than the minimum 10.
Time is running out. Get to it my pretty and be sure to ask your good friends to assist you with these challenges. Now along the way, be sure to avoid people in masks. People in masks cannot be trusted.
Rest assured you will not get eaten by the eels at this time.
Hear this now. I will always come for you.
Sincerely,
Westley and your friends
*******DARES******
1. Pub crawl in bridesmaid gear
2. Costume for karaoke, accessories such as Willy Nelson bandana, cowboy hat or wig will do
3. Attend film festival
4. Volunteer at orphanage
5. Learn to cook an exotic ethnic food you have not tried before
6. Write a blog about turning 30 and the goals ahead, write facebook note(s) about your 30 dare challenges and the experiences as they unfold.
7. Turn in a query to christian or literary or teaching magazine about anything of your choosing
8. Apply for a job in another country just because
9. Write a letter to john mayer
10. Attempt surfing, either a lesson or grab a board and jump in
11. Go somewhere for the weekend, tell your mom you are leaving but don't tell her where you are going, pack only one bag, do not make any plans until you get there.
12. Learn how to say a pickup line in french or spanish
13. Do cartwheels on the beach
14. Create something you don't eat or drink..take a painting, sculpture, sewing, jewelry making class
15. Shoot a gun at a gun range or in a country field
16. Play saxophone in downtown Houston on streets and accept dollars for magnificent talent
17. Dress up like a squirrel and do a dance in the nut isle of the grocery store
18. Skydive
19. Parasail
20. Fly in the cockpit of a small airplane
21. Volunteer or work delivering flowers for a day. Maybe a few friends who want to deliver flowers to someone could just call Rachel to pick them up and deliver them
22. Get a new pet that is not a cat
23. Take a leisure learning class
24. Bungee jump
25. Camp in a tent on the river or beach or a very secluded field in the country
26. Volunteer at a nursing home
27. Spend the day at an amusement park or water park
28. Go to a concert for a band you would typically not go to, or know nothing about
29. One adventure of your choice not listed herein
30. One goal of your choice not listed herein
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience
can never go back to its old dimensions."
— Oliver Wendell Holmes: American writer and Professor at Harvard, 1809-1894
Do you accept this challenge?
Friday, July 30, 2010
At the Heart of All My Efforts Lies...FRUSTRATION!
“Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love.” (John 15:4-5,7,10)
Why do I feel like I am continuously wrestling with the urge to NOT believe that God is really in control of every aspect of my life? It is like this constant attack against my spirit, my ability to trust in Him. I find myself in thought patterns, worrying about how I should handle (blank) so (blank) can happen, or how can I change my plans so I leave open the door for (blank) to occur? WHAT am I thinking? How do I get so far away from my deep-seated belief that God can do ANYTHING. I do nothing without Him. It is not up to me to control the events of my life. He could change my life in an instant if He wanted to. I am not working on this earth for an end to a means. I am not here to fill my own agenda.
I love Oswald Chamber’s little reminder for July 28th (http://www.myutmost.org/07/0728.html). I obey now; I serve now; my purpose is being fulfilled now. (Catching a pattern?) The purposes of my actions should not be rooted in my desire of certain (self-centered) future events to occur. God may have the opposite in mind for what I have for myself, so it is time I RELEASED CONTROL. My way always ends up stinkier than decaying fish chum…long dead and about to be devoured by the world. (*not so relevant fishing analogy*). My love lies in His ways, not the world’s ways. I have to trust Him in the present without getting caught up in my wants for the future. His purposes for me are that I live each day intentionally. Immediately. Each moment is precious.
It is not up to me to manipulate my situations or courses of action. I rely on Him and His word only. He has me at this place to glorify Him in everything that I do. I do what I do because I love Him, not my life on this earth. I don’t look back at mistakes made, and when I look forward, I look heavenward. Heavenward is all about Him, not me.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galations 1:10
“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 3:13-14
Why do I feel like I am continuously wrestling with the urge to NOT believe that God is really in control of every aspect of my life? It is like this constant attack against my spirit, my ability to trust in Him. I find myself in thought patterns, worrying about how I should handle (blank) so (blank) can happen, or how can I change my plans so I leave open the door for (blank) to occur? WHAT am I thinking? How do I get so far away from my deep-seated belief that God can do ANYTHING. I do nothing without Him. It is not up to me to control the events of my life. He could change my life in an instant if He wanted to. I am not working on this earth for an end to a means. I am not here to fill my own agenda.
I love Oswald Chamber’s little reminder for July 28th (http://www.myutmost.org/07/0728.html). I obey now; I serve now; my purpose is being fulfilled now. (Catching a pattern?) The purposes of my actions should not be rooted in my desire of certain (self-centered) future events to occur. God may have the opposite in mind for what I have for myself, so it is time I RELEASED CONTROL. My way always ends up stinkier than decaying fish chum…long dead and about to be devoured by the world. (*not so relevant fishing analogy*). My love lies in His ways, not the world’s ways. I have to trust Him in the present without getting caught up in my wants for the future. His purposes for me are that I live each day intentionally. Immediately. Each moment is precious.
It is not up to me to manipulate my situations or courses of action. I rely on Him and His word only. He has me at this place to glorify Him in everything that I do. I do what I do because I love Him, not my life on this earth. I don’t look back at mistakes made, and when I look forward, I look heavenward. Heavenward is all about Him, not me.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galations 1:10
“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 3:13-14
Friday, July 2, 2010
Mi Vida Loco
"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
My title is the name of a Pam Tillis song in which one line goes, "I'll go where the wind blows, you can't tame a wild rose, welcome to my crazy life!" I always chuckle when I hear that song because I can't help but think, "THAT IS ME!"
I pray that the wind is God's direction in my life.
Lately I've been tossing the theme of "adventure" back and forth in my mind. Amidst the craziness of internship and paper-writing for grad school I have already been given some unexpected crazy-fun adventures this summer. If you know me you'd probably say, "so, what's new?" True, it has been my modus operandi my whole life, but for some reason in the last month or so I have been so much more aware of the God-given part of my persona. As my twenties come to a close in the next couple of months, I can't help but realize how many rich experiences I have been through in the last decade of my life. I can see how God has brought me from one excursion to the next, over and over again, drawing me closer to Him all the time.
After sharing some pictures on facebook, a friend recently told me that my life must be filled with adventures, happiness, and blessings. Instantly, I agreed! And then I reflected. Wow. So God, you haven't given me MY plans for my life. I'm sorry for pouting about that at times because I am so thankful for YOUR adventure.
Deep in my heart I have this longing to soar like an eagle and to run and not grow weary. Adventure is at the core of my being and looking back over my life I'm trying to learn who I am in Christ and just why he places these desires on my heart. Because he has assigned us all the Great Commission (GO thereforth and make disciples of all nations...), I think he gives us all a longing for adventure on different levels and in different ways. I know that lately I have been more keenly aware of the sense of adventure he stirs in my soul. He created me this way, and now it is my choice to follow His direction for the adventure of my life.
We each have our own story, and we are living it right now. Each story is different, but each story is our one chance to follow the great adventure He sets before us. How exciting! No wonder I absolutely love stories. And adventures. :)
Thank you God for this crazy life that is filled with unexpected twists and turns! Thank you that my life's adventure is your plan, because it is far more exciting and wonderful than I could have ever planned on my own!
My title is the name of a Pam Tillis song in which one line goes, "I'll go where the wind blows, you can't tame a wild rose, welcome to my crazy life!" I always chuckle when I hear that song because I can't help but think, "THAT IS ME!"
I pray that the wind is God's direction in my life.
Lately I've been tossing the theme of "adventure" back and forth in my mind. Amidst the craziness of internship and paper-writing for grad school I have already been given some unexpected crazy-fun adventures this summer. If you know me you'd probably say, "so, what's new?" True, it has been my modus operandi my whole life, but for some reason in the last month or so I have been so much more aware of the God-given part of my persona. As my twenties come to a close in the next couple of months, I can't help but realize how many rich experiences I have been through in the last decade of my life. I can see how God has brought me from one excursion to the next, over and over again, drawing me closer to Him all the time.
After sharing some pictures on facebook, a friend recently told me that my life must be filled with adventures, happiness, and blessings. Instantly, I agreed! And then I reflected. Wow. So God, you haven't given me MY plans for my life. I'm sorry for pouting about that at times because I am so thankful for YOUR adventure.
Deep in my heart I have this longing to soar like an eagle and to run and not grow weary. Adventure is at the core of my being and looking back over my life I'm trying to learn who I am in Christ and just why he places these desires on my heart. Because he has assigned us all the Great Commission (GO thereforth and make disciples of all nations...), I think he gives us all a longing for adventure on different levels and in different ways. I know that lately I have been more keenly aware of the sense of adventure he stirs in my soul. He created me this way, and now it is my choice to follow His direction for the adventure of my life.
We each have our own story, and we are living it right now. Each story is different, but each story is our one chance to follow the great adventure He sets before us. How exciting! No wonder I absolutely love stories. And adventures. :)
Thank you God for this crazy life that is filled with unexpected twists and turns! Thank you that my life's adventure is your plan, because it is far more exciting and wonderful than I could have ever planned on my own!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Lord, please teach this wiggily child to sit still!
Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 37:7-9
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes."
Psalm 40:1
"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry."
Romans 15:4-5
"For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus."
The common theme of these verses? #1 – Being still. #2 – Having patience. The two actions that I seem to resist the most. Hence, why it has taken me several weeks to get back to my writing. There must be some part of me that inherently just doesn’t want to sit still, though it is probably the very thing I need most at times. Like now. My life is crazy, and I need to rest; God is calling me to rest. But how do I rest when I’ve already filled my calendar with work, work committees, grading papers, going to grad school, writing papers, attending workshops, learning my new job for next year, church, volunteering for church, bible study, cooking group, buying and cooking on a farmer’s market diet (yes, this takes a good chunk of time), exercise (notice how that one is at the bottom, haha). I’m a teacher, so summer break, right? Doesn’t happen! Last summer I crammed in three grad school courses in eight weeks, and this summer I have 160 hours of internship and then a four day-a-week class. These are all good things to do with my time, but could I have made them not so good when I don’t make time to be still with God?
Confession: I LIKE being busy. I’m not a fan of sitting at home with nothing to do. Every once in a while it can be nice, but I get bored easily and want to jump up and stay busy. It is a struggle for me to force myself to just be still and sit in God’s presence. But, when I finally do take those moments, it always results in peace and restoration for my soul. My goal is to remember how vital it is to my relationship with Him, and take more time to just SIT STILL, to listen to Him and to know He is God. I am praying for him to show me what I must do with my schedule to obediently follow His will for time alone with Him. He deserves my time first, and with a heart that is desiring and willing.
Now, one more time…more on the patience part later (I’m working up to that one)!
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 37:7-9
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes."
Psalm 40:1
"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry."
Romans 15:4-5
"For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus."
The common theme of these verses? #1 – Being still. #2 – Having patience. The two actions that I seem to resist the most. Hence, why it has taken me several weeks to get back to my writing. There must be some part of me that inherently just doesn’t want to sit still, though it is probably the very thing I need most at times. Like now. My life is crazy, and I need to rest; God is calling me to rest. But how do I rest when I’ve already filled my calendar with work, work committees, grading papers, going to grad school, writing papers, attending workshops, learning my new job for next year, church, volunteering for church, bible study, cooking group, buying and cooking on a farmer’s market diet (yes, this takes a good chunk of time), exercise (notice how that one is at the bottom, haha). I’m a teacher, so summer break, right? Doesn’t happen! Last summer I crammed in three grad school courses in eight weeks, and this summer I have 160 hours of internship and then a four day-a-week class. These are all good things to do with my time, but could I have made them not so good when I don’t make time to be still with God?
Confession: I LIKE being busy. I’m not a fan of sitting at home with nothing to do. Every once in a while it can be nice, but I get bored easily and want to jump up and stay busy. It is a struggle for me to force myself to just be still and sit in God’s presence. But, when I finally do take those moments, it always results in peace and restoration for my soul. My goal is to remember how vital it is to my relationship with Him, and take more time to just SIT STILL, to listen to Him and to know He is God. I am praying for him to show me what I must do with my schedule to obediently follow His will for time alone with Him. He deserves my time first, and with a heart that is desiring and willing.
Now, one more time…more on the patience part later (I’m working up to that one)!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Feelin' the Love
"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:5-8)
God loves me. I try to let that sink in though I really can't wrap my head around the magnitude of these simple three words.
God loves you! We hear it over and over again, but unless we've given our whole being to the One whose Spirit has been poured out upon us, the phrase reverberates, echoing and empty. Believers know that God has poured His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, but are we consistently connecting the importance of this everyday? What does it mean? How do we love in return? If we could just grasp the concept, our whole world would be turned upside down. If we could just fully understand and feel the tiniest fraction of the enormity of love He feels for us, we would be blown away and changed forever. And really for believers, we already have experienced this at least once when we took that step of faith and decided to accept Christ's love and sacrifice that saved our lives for eternity. In that moment, God gave us His Holy Spirit and poured His love into our hearts.
Someday, we will be in the presence of this love continually. Can you imagine? Those fleeting times when our hearts are overflowing with love and we are completely at peace – these wonderful feelings pale in comparison to how we will feel ALL THE TIME in heaven someday. Reality on earth though is that ever too consistently the hum-drum of daily life takes over, and we may be left feeling dry. "He loves me" may not strike any emotional cord or second thought in the middle of a busy daily routine. Recently, I have made a commitment to Him; that I will let him satisfy every need and desire. I know He loves me deeply and wholly like no other being on earth could ever do. Only He can fill this love need. I realize it, but what about those days I don't FEEL it?
I once had an unbelieving friend say that it seemed like most Christians like to throw out the "God loves you card." This particular friend never bought it or believed that Christians really know God’s love either. When I asked why, the answer wasn't surprising. Today's typical American Christian goes to church on Sunday, sings the right songs, wears the cross in jewelry, sticks the bumper sticker on their car, and then goes about their week handling everyday life stresses, struggles, needs, and wants in the same selfish ways as the rest of the population. Only they do it with a superior attitude because they have the cross necklace, bumper sticker, and oh yeah don't forget, God loves them better attitude because they are a goody-two-shoes Christian. The all too familiar “hypocrite” word strikes again to describe a lukewarm generation of “Christ followers” in a “Christian” nation.
God isn’t satisfied with our getting-a-little-Jesus attitude reserved for Sundays. He desires a daily real, deep, engaging, and love-filled relationship with us. He requires that He be the number one most important relationship in our life, so much so that we need time with Him like we thirst for water. Jesus Himself said:
“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'” John 7:37-38
It is His greatest commandment for us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. (Matthew 22:37-40, Deuteronomy 6:4-5).
How can we receive this deep, abiding God-love if we haven’t done our part in reciprocation of a relationship with Him? Why would we not want to reciprocate when we realize everything He has done for us and how deeply and personally He loves each one of us? I love the way the David Crowder Band reminds us of this love in one of their latest songs, “How He Loves.” I can’t help but want to weep for joy every time I hear it.
How He Loves
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
Oh how He loves me so. Even when I turn my back, He loves me so and calls His wayward daughter back to Him again and again.
God loves me. I try to let that sink in though I really can't wrap my head around the magnitude of these simple three words.
God loves you! We hear it over and over again, but unless we've given our whole being to the One whose Spirit has been poured out upon us, the phrase reverberates, echoing and empty. Believers know that God has poured His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, but are we consistently connecting the importance of this everyday? What does it mean? How do we love in return? If we could just grasp the concept, our whole world would be turned upside down. If we could just fully understand and feel the tiniest fraction of the enormity of love He feels for us, we would be blown away and changed forever. And really for believers, we already have experienced this at least once when we took that step of faith and decided to accept Christ's love and sacrifice that saved our lives for eternity. In that moment, God gave us His Holy Spirit and poured His love into our hearts.
Someday, we will be in the presence of this love continually. Can you imagine? Those fleeting times when our hearts are overflowing with love and we are completely at peace – these wonderful feelings pale in comparison to how we will feel ALL THE TIME in heaven someday. Reality on earth though is that ever too consistently the hum-drum of daily life takes over, and we may be left feeling dry. "He loves me" may not strike any emotional cord or second thought in the middle of a busy daily routine. Recently, I have made a commitment to Him; that I will let him satisfy every need and desire. I know He loves me deeply and wholly like no other being on earth could ever do. Only He can fill this love need. I realize it, but what about those days I don't FEEL it?
I once had an unbelieving friend say that it seemed like most Christians like to throw out the "God loves you card." This particular friend never bought it or believed that Christians really know God’s love either. When I asked why, the answer wasn't surprising. Today's typical American Christian goes to church on Sunday, sings the right songs, wears the cross in jewelry, sticks the bumper sticker on their car, and then goes about their week handling everyday life stresses, struggles, needs, and wants in the same selfish ways as the rest of the population. Only they do it with a superior attitude because they have the cross necklace, bumper sticker, and oh yeah don't forget, God loves them better attitude because they are a goody-two-shoes Christian. The all too familiar “hypocrite” word strikes again to describe a lukewarm generation of “Christ followers” in a “Christian” nation.
God isn’t satisfied with our getting-a-little-Jesus attitude reserved for Sundays. He desires a daily real, deep, engaging, and love-filled relationship with us. He requires that He be the number one most important relationship in our life, so much so that we need time with Him like we thirst for water. Jesus Himself said:
“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'” John 7:37-38
It is His greatest commandment for us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. (Matthew 22:37-40, Deuteronomy 6:4-5).
How can we receive this deep, abiding God-love if we haven’t done our part in reciprocation of a relationship with Him? Why would we not want to reciprocate when we realize everything He has done for us and how deeply and personally He loves each one of us? I love the way the David Crowder Band reminds us of this love in one of their latest songs, “How He Loves.” I can’t help but want to weep for joy every time I hear it.
How He Loves
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
Oh how He loves me so. Even when I turn my back, He loves me so and calls His wayward daughter back to Him again and again.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
I love Him more that white picket fences...
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2 ESV)
In continuing with the last post, I’ve determined that the worldly view of success (to acquire and achieve) is not God’s view of success. My true contentment does not lie in reaching some attainable goal in status or material possession. God given peace and contentment comes from my growth as a spiritual being and from following the example of Christ as the ultimate guide for my life.
For the members of the body: (Note that I don’t say for church attendees, but members of the body, those whose hearts truly love Jesus and want to follow Him.) How do we apply this to our daily lives?
It changes everything.
So many of us grow up being taught to strive for the American dream. Unfortunately, the self-sufficiency that comes with the American dream usually comes at the cost of losing our dependence on Him. We lose our desire to follow His will and instead follow our own will. This leads to disastrous consequences of many forms and fashions. Our ambitions apart from His will in our life are a result our trying to fill an emptiness in any way possible. We try to fill our holes with money, or success, or a relationship, or drugs, or alcohol, or work, or even sometimes our own adherence to religious rules by means of obligation instead of love. I’m not sure who to give credit to the phrase “God-sized hole,” but none of these things, NOTHING, can fill the God sized hole in our hearts but the love of Jesus.
I remember in the first years of college people would often ask me what I plan to do with my life. Of course I would give my ambitious answer of what degree I planned to receive and what successful occupation it would lead me to in the future. To my closest friends though, I would also share the additional details of MY plans. That is, what I really wanted more than anything was a white-picket fence, a husband, and a couple of kids.
My “white-picket fence” dream was referred to and lamented over many times over the years. Looking back now, it is clear to see it was one of the things I was dreaming of to fill the gaping and empty hole in my heart. I know that I did not give mind to God, or His will in my life when it came to thinking of MY future. He already fit neatly in His tight little box which I would only take down occasionally on Sunday mornings or when I needed to ask for something.
So far at this point, over a decade later, God has decided to not bless me with that dream. What He has given me instead is a changed heart and a longing for the eternal instead of the temporal. Praise Jesus! Who knows; He may lead me in the direction of a white picket fence someday. But if it is not His leading, I want nothing of it. Instead of conforming to the pattern of this world, I have the opportunity to be transformed by the likeness of Christ himself.
I have peace knowing I am a daughter of God. His love for me gives me greater joy and contentment than any early desire could ever contain.
Will my desires on earth come true? Yes. IF, by a transformed heart, my will becomes His will.
“Delight yourself in the Lord,
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
Trust in Him and He will act." (Psalm 37:4-5 ESV)
Is there any desire in this world that is above delighting myself in my Father’s love and committing myself to Him?
I truly believe that when we earnestly and genuinely delight in the Lord and commit our ways to Him the desires placed in our hearts shall be equal to His own.
A couple of lines past the above verses at Psalms 37:7 states:
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”
So, even when something is HIS will, we may not receive it when WE want it.
Oh, how the Lord continues to work on me in this area!
More on that “patient” word later…
In continuing with the last post, I’ve determined that the worldly view of success (to acquire and achieve) is not God’s view of success. My true contentment does not lie in reaching some attainable goal in status or material possession. God given peace and contentment comes from my growth as a spiritual being and from following the example of Christ as the ultimate guide for my life.
For the members of the body: (Note that I don’t say for church attendees, but members of the body, those whose hearts truly love Jesus and want to follow Him.) How do we apply this to our daily lives?
It changes everything.
So many of us grow up being taught to strive for the American dream. Unfortunately, the self-sufficiency that comes with the American dream usually comes at the cost of losing our dependence on Him. We lose our desire to follow His will and instead follow our own will. This leads to disastrous consequences of many forms and fashions. Our ambitions apart from His will in our life are a result our trying to fill an emptiness in any way possible. We try to fill our holes with money, or success, or a relationship, or drugs, or alcohol, or work, or even sometimes our own adherence to religious rules by means of obligation instead of love. I’m not sure who to give credit to the phrase “God-sized hole,” but none of these things, NOTHING, can fill the God sized hole in our hearts but the love of Jesus.
I remember in the first years of college people would often ask me what I plan to do with my life. Of course I would give my ambitious answer of what degree I planned to receive and what successful occupation it would lead me to in the future. To my closest friends though, I would also share the additional details of MY plans. That is, what I really wanted more than anything was a white-picket fence, a husband, and a couple of kids.
My “white-picket fence” dream was referred to and lamented over many times over the years. Looking back now, it is clear to see it was one of the things I was dreaming of to fill the gaping and empty hole in my heart. I know that I did not give mind to God, or His will in my life when it came to thinking of MY future. He already fit neatly in His tight little box which I would only take down occasionally on Sunday mornings or when I needed to ask for something.
So far at this point, over a decade later, God has decided to not bless me with that dream. What He has given me instead is a changed heart and a longing for the eternal instead of the temporal. Praise Jesus! Who knows; He may lead me in the direction of a white picket fence someday. But if it is not His leading, I want nothing of it. Instead of conforming to the pattern of this world, I have the opportunity to be transformed by the likeness of Christ himself.
I have peace knowing I am a daughter of God. His love for me gives me greater joy and contentment than any early desire could ever contain.
Will my desires on earth come true? Yes. IF, by a transformed heart, my will becomes His will.
“Delight yourself in the Lord,
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
Trust in Him and He will act." (Psalm 37:4-5 ESV)
Is there any desire in this world that is above delighting myself in my Father’s love and committing myself to Him?
I truly believe that when we earnestly and genuinely delight in the Lord and commit our ways to Him the desires placed in our hearts shall be equal to His own.
A couple of lines past the above verses at Psalms 37:7 states:
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”
So, even when something is HIS will, we may not receive it when WE want it.
Oh, how the Lord continues to work on me in this area!
More on that “patient” word later…
Friday, April 30, 2010
True and Sustainable Contentment
Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. (Phillipians 4:11-13, NLT)
Have I been content with whatever I have and with whatever situation I am in? Sometimes, yes. Admittedly and sadly too often, no.
How do I obtain this deep and sustaining contentment? As with most Americans, I have learned from a world where happiness equals the pursuit of tangible and material successes and possessions. It seems as if everyone is running toward some future goal where they dream to grasp by their own earning what they perceive as their contentment.
If I can just keep going...only five more years until I retire….
Next year I’ll finally be old enough to get my driver’s license, that’s when life really begins….
Our family will finally be complete when I have children…
Once I get to college, I’ll figure it all out there…
Once I find and marry the man God has to me, I won’t feel so lonely…
When I earn my degree…
When I get that job…
When I make X amount of dollars…
When I buy that perfect home…
What if these goals we so desperately want to come to fruition never happen?
What if the largest blessing you could actually receive would be a result of you not getting what you want?
What if growing closer in relationship with your Heavenly Father meant letting His will supersede your own?
God wants our ENTIRE being. Our heart, mind, soul. How can He bless us with our desires when we are putting these worldly yearnings above our desire for Him? I don’t know about you, but I have continually learned this lesson the hard way. I’m a natural go-getter. I know what I want, and I go after it with fervor. I rely on my own abilities to achieve my desires. I could use this quality for good and for the kingdom. But too often I use it selfishly, and without the go-ahead from Him. And guess what happens? Yup. Not much good, and never long-standing peace and contentment.
We suffer from lack of contentment. We are so busy striving for one of the above mentioned scenarios or another version of "the next step" that we forget to feel gratitude and peace for our current life and the abundant love we are receiving RIGHT NOW. Too many of us define our joy (or our deluded idea of joy) by what we have accomplished or gained in our current circumstances.
In light of contentment, Chip Ingram states in a recent blog that the most important question you can ask yourself is not what have you achieved or acquired, but who are you becoming? In his words:
“ Becoming, as God defines it, sparks many more questions: What type of person are you? How is your soul growing? Are you kinder and more patient and more loving? Are your relationships deeper? Are you more deeply connected to God? Are you hearing his voice like never before?”
The times when I could answer "yes" to those last five questions are the times when I have experienced true contentment.
Have I been content with whatever I have and with whatever situation I am in? Sometimes, yes. Admittedly and sadly too often, no.
How do I obtain this deep and sustaining contentment? As with most Americans, I have learned from a world where happiness equals the pursuit of tangible and material successes and possessions. It seems as if everyone is running toward some future goal where they dream to grasp by their own earning what they perceive as their contentment.
If I can just keep going...only five more years until I retire….
Next year I’ll finally be old enough to get my driver’s license, that’s when life really begins….
Our family will finally be complete when I have children…
Once I get to college, I’ll figure it all out there…
Once I find and marry the man God has to me, I won’t feel so lonely…
When I earn my degree…
When I get that job…
When I make X amount of dollars…
When I buy that perfect home…
What if these goals we so desperately want to come to fruition never happen?
What if the largest blessing you could actually receive would be a result of you not getting what you want?
What if growing closer in relationship with your Heavenly Father meant letting His will supersede your own?
God wants our ENTIRE being. Our heart, mind, soul. How can He bless us with our desires when we are putting these worldly yearnings above our desire for Him? I don’t know about you, but I have continually learned this lesson the hard way. I’m a natural go-getter. I know what I want, and I go after it with fervor. I rely on my own abilities to achieve my desires. I could use this quality for good and for the kingdom. But too often I use it selfishly, and without the go-ahead from Him. And guess what happens? Yup. Not much good, and never long-standing peace and contentment.
We suffer from lack of contentment. We are so busy striving for one of the above mentioned scenarios or another version of "the next step" that we forget to feel gratitude and peace for our current life and the abundant love we are receiving RIGHT NOW. Too many of us define our joy (or our deluded idea of joy) by what we have accomplished or gained in our current circumstances.
In light of contentment, Chip Ingram states in a recent blog that the most important question you can ask yourself is not what have you achieved or acquired, but who are you becoming? In his words:
“ Becoming, as God defines it, sparks many more questions: What type of person are you? How is your soul growing? Are you kinder and more patient and more loving? Are your relationships deeper? Are you more deeply connected to God? Are you hearing his voice like never before?”
The times when I could answer "yes" to those last five questions are the times when I have experienced true contentment.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
First post! It is about time...
Ever feel like there is this thing you should be doing…you know, a thing that pops in your head from time to time and taps at your soul, nags the edge of your conscious, and makes you wish you could put down this, that, and the other obligation you must attend to that moment and go after that meaningful thing you really want to do? Instead, it evaporates in the clouds of your brain, and you put it off or think of some future date where you could squeeze this thing into your schedule easier.
I often have several of these evaporating things keeping me unsettled.
In so many ways I wish I could let less of the busy of life in and let more of the all-encompassing love I have for my Savior fill-up and pour-out. This blog is one of those meaningful things I'm not letting drift on anymore.
When trying to come up with a title, I couldn't make it relevant to today, or five years ago, or ten years in the future. I needed to think of something that is true of my whole relationship with Him. His pursuit of me is steadfast. And it is everlasting. I am not grateful of anything in my life more than this. Throughout my days here on planet earth he has pursued me, relentlessly. It is so clear as I look over the span of my life. His pursuit has not been commanding or demanding, but instead a gentle calling. It is the discontentment of my soul when I have strayed. It is the power of His Word, the only words that bring true peace to a weary mind. It is the love that overflows from my heart when I realize how truly, madly, and deeply I am loved by Him. It is the freeing power of being forgiven, my broken and unworthy self suddenly made worthy.
This week I have been meditating on our greatest commandment, to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, and strength (Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:36). Why are there times where it comes so naturally that this is all I want to do, and yet other times it seems the most difficult request ever created? Why am I such a wayward daughter?
He pursues me. Always. He always loves me wholly, completely, unconditionally. I want to give the same back, but how? What is happening during those times I don’t feel like loving Him back?
I have discovered there are evil forces in this world that work against me, stealing my joy. It is my love for the world, my reliance on my temporary home instead of my dedication to my permanent place for eternity that often threatens to turn me away from the truest love of my life. When my love for Him is dimmer, my love for something of the world has been heightened. I want to choose the everlasting reciprocation of love with my Father over the temporary pleasures of this world.
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